Dowsed with floods, rain, sleet and snow in winter and more rain in summer, the Lake District is well known as one of England’s most popular holiday destinations.
People come in droves to spend time in tucked away cabins and cottages — but everything is so sparse that it doesn’t seem busy at all. In fact, spend a day walking in the Lake District and chances are you won’t see anyone else all day. Now who on earth would want such desolate and paradise-like beauty? Not me, for sure. Here’s why you should avoid the Lakes.
8) The landscape is boring.
Miles and miles of rolling green hills (or snow-capped mountains in winter), ruined by very little man-made features. Narrow, windy countryside roads that tunnel between fields of sheep and horses and other livestock that always want to stop and have a nose at what you’re doing. A place so desolate and with so little light pollution that you run the chance (albeit slim) of seeing the elusive Aurora Borealis on dark, clear nights.
If you wanted a flat, boring view out of your window whilst you’re making your morning cuppa then you’ll be sorely disappointed. The Lake District contains 214 Wainwrights (what the hills and mountains are called in this area) – some of which are over 500 million years old – and chances are you’re going to be able to see some of them from wherever you are in the Lake District.
7) The tap water tastes different.
When I grab a glass to pour myself a water from the tap, I expect to have the fluoride-filled chlorine-tasting hard water I’m used to at home. Instead my mouth is met with soft, pure tap water and I can close my eyes and pretend I’m drinking straight from a waterfall in the mountains. How dare they.
6) There’s too many hills.
Seriously, who put those there? I came to the Lake District to have a relaxing few days, but instead I’ve found myself trekking up and down the most ridiculous hills providing me with annoyingly glorious views and helping me get fitter.
Surrounding Keswick where we stayed most recently we had the Skiddaw range of mountains to the north and the range next to Braithwaite to our west. You can’t move without finding Wainwrights – in fact many visitors to the Lake District categorise themselves as “peak baggers” as they vy to summit all 214 of them.
Did you know? A boy of six years old is currently noted as the youngest person to conquer all of the Lake District Wainwrights.
5) The local animals are too well taken care of.
Organic-this and organic-that – seriously, it’s as if these people actually care for their livestock.
Pub menus everywhere boast homegrown meat, sustainable and environmentally friendly. Because the meat has been so well taken care of, it tastes that much better too — far more tender and succulent — without costing an arm and leg like you’d pay down south. Not only that, the local farmers are incredibly friendly (unless you let your unleashed dog near their livestock…they may not be so friendly then…).
4) Too many pubs.
How annoying it is to walk down the street and have an ambient, family pub in every other doorway. Who needs that many pubs?!
My favourite pubs in Keswick are the Dog & Gun (gotta try their Goulash!), Lake Inn Road (best Shepherd’s Pie ever!) and The Bank Tavern (amazing pies). All provide fantastic quality traditional pub food, a lively environment and the friendliest staff. What a horrible thing to do, to slump down next to a roaring log fire with a huge pie in front of you, a real local ale and friendly faces all around 😉
3) It rains. A lot.
Well, this point is actually brutally true – but what it provides is lush green fields that stretch for miles and means a great supply of crops so that all the local supermarkets are filled. Horrible, eh?
The Lakes is definitely a place for waterproofs and layers. A solid warm layer to block out the high winds topped with a quality waterproof will ensure you have a more enjoyable trip – there’s nothing worse than being constantly wet and soggy for days on end.
And the good news is, even if you’ve been out in the rain all day, you’ll just appreciate that pint at the end so much more. Pubs don’t mind if you come in wet, sodden and wind-beaten. There’s a place to hang your coat to let it dry and a chunky homemade soup waiting behind the bar to warm your belly.
2) There’s too many outdoor activities.
If you’re more of a stay-at-home cuddly cat instead of an outdoorsy fearless fox, the Lakes is just not for you.
Water rafting, sailing, hiking, trekking, sledding, canoeing, outdoor swimming, climbing and bouldering are just some of the things that’ll keep you and your family occupied within the Lake District. It’s wonderfully kid-friendly if you’ve got little-uns and is a great place to get them into the outdoors and away from the Xbox.
But yeah, yuck, what a boring load of things to do rain or shine 😉.
1) Everywhere is dog friendly.
And I mean everywhere. How inconsiderate of shop owners and pub landlords to enable me to bring my loveable pooch out into town with me.
It’s just so annoying having my dog laying on the floor warming my feet while I’m tucking into my delicious homemade steak and ale pie.
[edit: out of all of these, this is the one I’m MOST kidding about. I love that I can take Toby out and about with me as he’s so well behaved and I know he gets lonely being left home alone. He’s definitely a socialable pooch and it was wonderful to be able to go for a nice walk through Keswick and down by Derwentwater, and then head into a pub after to grab some lunch before heading home. And yes, in that photo below that is mud all up my leg. Silly to wear nice jeans on what I thought would be a clean walk down by Derwentwater — I was sadly mistaken.]
Now I hope it’s pretty obvious this article is massively sarcastic and that my love for the Lake District has shone through. It is a wonderful place to come, rain or shine.
We actually just spent our Christmas there — yes in the high winds and constant pouring rain. Luckily our AirBnB had a log burner and provided the perfect cosy atmosphere to keep us happy whilst we’d play board games and waited for the rain to let up slightly. On Christmas Day, we had a wonderful but wet walk up Blencathra (less than 15 minutes from Keswick) — and above is Toby showing off his new waterproofs.
[Go and check out Somercotes Annexe – where we stayed over Christmas. I can’t recommend this little cottage enough. The views out of the windows should be enough to get you booking this place up.]
<SS>
go west, my girl 